I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize