whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
