She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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