D3 body, D1 cock
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
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