have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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