your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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