I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Randomize
