Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
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