So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
