he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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