i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
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