I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
