She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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