I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Randomize
