It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
