whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Randomize
