We're like a lot better than the average bears
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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