i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I checked into jail on foursquare
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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