talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Randomize
