I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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