Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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