so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
