My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
They took my balls.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
