Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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