I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Randomize
