playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
