we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
