Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Randomize
