I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
