dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Randomize
