Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Randomize
