great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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