I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
