i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Randomize
