hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
