i don't like sucking hair
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
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