talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Randomize
