am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
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