i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
