Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Randomize
