Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Randomize
