This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
