I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Randomize
