Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
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