well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
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