went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
