He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
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