Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Randomize
