when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Randomize
