go do what you do best...puke behind churches
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
