a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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