we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Randomize
