singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Houston, we have a blender
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
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