I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Randomize
