So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
We have so much sex to catch up on
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
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