I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
