i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
