i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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