Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
