Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
