I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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