I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
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