No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
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