She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Randomize
