walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
