im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Randomize
