I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Randomize
