sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
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