I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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