I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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