Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I want a musical about memes.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Randomize
