is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Randomize
